Daily Dose of Disgustingly Cute

Because who doesn’t love a video of a dog and cat playing?

Important things to note: Truman is purring THE WHOLE TIME. The part where they are both startled is when Jake runs by (you can’t see him).  And if you have no idea what I’m talking about because you read this in Google reader, just click over to the actual site.

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Flip Cups for Pups

Well, today marks the last day of NaBloPoMo, and I know that you want to hear about my dog.  Who doesn’t want to hear about my dog?

As the days have been getting shorter and it’s been getting darker, I have to admit that Daphne has been getting less exercise and stimulation.  In the fall, I could come home from work and take her to run in the woods, where she could frolic and sniff around to her heart’s delight; now, I’m nervous that it will get dark out before we make it back to the car, or that she’ll find delicious evening animals like porcupines and skunks.

teach her to dance!

So the question became: what can we do to keep her entertained?  A couple of things are to play with her more in the yard and around the house, and to take her for more leash walks around the neighborhood.  But my new favorite thing is our new way of feeding her.

This was inspired by our friends’ dog, who eats the food that they toss outside on the ground for her.  It slows down her eating and gets her to forage a little, using at least SOME mental energy.  It was also inspired by Shiva’s mad skills at a Nina Ottosson toy.  You can do this at home with very little effort, folks! The only downsides are: 1. a dog who drools while she watches you set it up, and 2. drool spots on the floor from where your dig licks up the kibbles.

First, collect some empty cups; we used six paper cups.

Second, make sure you have someone to supervise; it keeps things interesting.

(“Is this dog food?! I LOVE dog food!”)

Next, measure out the appropriate amount of food.  Daphne gets around 1 1/2 cups.

Divide food evenly between all cups.

This is the point where I usually send Daphne to her crate, and then stack up the cups to bring in to the other room.  Truman is very helpful in this process.

Daph waits… uh… patiently? Eagerly is a better term. I’m not sure you can see the drool in this picture.

Truman helps her with the kibbles.

Watch the whole thing in the 30-second video below!

Right now she just nudges the cups over and pushes them along the floor to get the food out.  It usually takes her about 20 seconds to eat a cup and a half of kibble out of her food dish; this process takes her about 5 minutes, which is a fantastic improvement.  I’m not sure where to go from here, though.  Some ideas were to put out some empty cups, or to hide the cups around the house, but I’m worried she would forget them, we would forget them, and we’d find dog food on the floor months later.

What do you do to keep your beasts entertained as it gets colder and darker outside?

 

Gratitude, Inside Out

Things for which I am grateful:

Fighting cats. Halfway through the fighting, they start cleaning each others’ faces. Cutest thing ever.

Bickering spouses. Halfway through the bickering, we realize how silly we are being, and apologies ensue, along with a thoughtful conversation with how to improve our lives, end world hunger, and stop global warming. We are pretty awesome.

bicker bicker bicker

all better! excellent!

How freaking cold it is outside the covers in the morning. It makes me really appreciate a quality down blanket as well as my apparently freakish ability to produce body heat.  Yeah, body, thanks for being awesomely warm!

It's cold out there and I am NOT coming out.

Nonworking internet the one night I finally decide to keep writing wedding recaps. Instead I finally had the time to go through and delete a lot of my photos, so maybe my computer will stop telling me there’s not enough memory to run my applications. Oops.

So.  I had big things planned for you today, but see my last gratitude and you’ll understand why you got this list fifteen minutes before I have to leave the house.  How much do I appreciate you guys? I’ll make sure to put up a post while it’s still dark out. THAT much.

What went “wrong” for you this weekend that really went right?

The Old Ball and Chain

You know how you hear jokes all the time about how unhappy married people are?  You know, they never have sex, they resent each other, they always have to ask permission to do the things they want to do, and usually the answer is no.  It’s all nicely summed up in one phrase: “the ol’ ball and chain”.  Yeah, that was totally my goal when we got married – to weigh my wife down and never let her do anything.  Hi honey!  You’re not allowed to do anything fun!

 

"I, Bird, vow to take you, Turtle, and make your life very difficult. Also I will always ask you for a puppy, even after you've said no."

If you hadn’t noticed from pretty much every marriage related post I’ve written, we really tried to go into this thing with our eyes wide open.  Here’s what we want in our marriage, here’s what we don’t want. We know it’ll be hard sometimes, but we’ll work through it.  All that good stuff.

Funny, though, how things sneak up on you.  Two months in, we realize: we are not giving enough.

In the course of planning our wedding and preparing to start our marriage, I remember reading somewhere that one key to a successful marriage is always giving more than you expect to receive.  If both people are trying to give more than they’re expecting to get, every gift is a pleasant surprise, something to be grateful for, something to appreciate.

Well, Turtle and I sort of, ahem, forgot that for a bit there.  I think that part of it has been the chaos of the last week: Thanksgiving, petsitting, quitting my job, struggling to make things work every day.  We’re both a little frazzled and this comes out in, “Can you walk the dog? Can you clean up the cat poop?  Why didn’t you give the kitten water? Will you take out the trash?” And even more than asking each other to do chores, there’s a lot of “Can you get me a drink? Can you turn on that light for me? Can you do something I could do just as easily but I’m lazy and comfortable and don’t want to get up?”

the "ahh sometimes marriage takes work" face

Here’s what we should be doing: trying to do it for each other.  If I want a drink, I should get my drink and offer her one, and she should do the same.  Look! We’ll both feel taken care of, we’ll both feel like we are actively taking care of something important (our relationship), and everyone will have drinks!  Fun solution!

And so, I suppose, reality kicks in.  As much as we can prepare for marriage and make all those promises about always loving and caring for each other, sometimes we are going to slip up.  Yes, we knew that already, but we hadn’t gone and done it yet (while married, anyway).  Also, as Turtle pointed out, this is far from the big things we will have to deal with during our marriage: this is smaller than finances, than death, than hard family things; but it is also the small things that make us strong enough to handle those big things.

So here’s to a happy Sunday.  Here’s to starting a new week and turning over a new leaf – or just a leaf that we sort of forgot about and fell behind the couch and we only just found it again.  Here’s to giving more.

What relationship bumps caught you by surprise, how did you find them, and what are you doing about them?

T is for Trouble, Truman, and TrueLove

To commemorate my last day of Petsitting Insanity, I bring you the Celebrated Truman, also known as T Monster, TruMonster, and Squeee! Because he’s just that cute.

First, pictures of him with us so there’s something of size to compare him to.

Day one, about ten minutes after we came home.

5 or 6 weeks

kittens are cute as a survival technique, because honestly they have no manners and they are very sharp.

sevenish weeks?

Also 7ish weeks.

Thanksgiving kitten! He's around 10 weeks now.

Second, just adorable pictures of him, because kittens are really cute.

Teeny weeny! He lived in the tub for his first week with us.

He helped my friend Kitty with her Halloween costume: Crazy Cat Lady.

He became more catlike!

He learned how to get into laundry baskets/ideal napping places/hiding places that scare his mommas into thinking they lost him.

Truman and Daphne are learning to be in love.

Have a happy Saturday!

It’s Going to Be a Good Day and other foxy things

It’s Black Friday and even if I wanted to go shopping, I couldn’t, because I am very busy and important.  Luckily, we all live in the age of the internet and you can buy pretty things online.  I am not sure that I will be buying pretty things, but I am sure that I can show you some pretty things I have bought or coveted in the past.  Plus, they are all handmade!  Enjoy, and tell me if you love something or end up buying any of these.  Happy holidays!

(click on any image to see the Etsy store it came from)

Things I bought:

I love this dog collar from The ModDog. This particular style is Duck Season, and we bought it for Daphne about a year ago.  I love the martingale style and the Kandinsky-esque circles.

~

I bought this necklace from I Dream I Can Fly for Turtle for Christmas/Solstice, but then she lost her job so I gave it to her early. As she says, it was a “Happy firing present.”  But really it was a “Chin up, there’s hope and also I love you and am awesome” present, and she still wears it a lot.  So pretty.

~

I love love love Kristiana Parn.  I love the pictures but the titles are the icing on the cake; the one above is called “It’s Going to be a Good Day,” and I love that.  I bought this for Turtle’s best friend, and I don’t remember why.  Also, the Birds Sunrise is beautiful.

~

For our first anniversary, I commissioned a custom portrait of Turtle’s cat Piper, who was the love of her life before I came along.  cdingo was fantastic to work with and did a great job with a cat who has such unique and complex features.  She emailed me “drafts” of the work and I wrote back with “a little more black here” and “add a smudge of orange there,” and it came out looking like Piper, only less annoyed than Piper usually looks in pictures.

~

Here are some things that I might someday buy and that I think are really pretty:

 

I love these tiny mismatched earrings from Joannarutter, and I would probably love almost anything else in her store. I mean, who doesn’t need Rainy Day Studs?

~

Not sure if you’d picked up on this before, but I do kind of like dogs.  Not sure that I would want this awesome mobile hanging around now, but 10 or 15 or 20 years ago, I would have loved this. Okay, and maybe it would look nice in our study over the desk.  See more (including a derby girl mobile! and a Where the Wild Things Are mobile!)) at SaltyandSweet.

~

Continuing with the the dog theme (I know you’re shocked), these magnets are adorable and can show off your awesome dog (or cat or even small human!).  Check them out from Enidtraisman.

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Just in case you were concerned that I didn’t love any of The ModDog‘s  other collars, don’t worry, I do I do I do! I think Daphne would look lovely in pears, though of course we’d need it to be a martingale.  But did I already mention that the seller can do whatever kind of collar you want!? They can, because they’re that amazing.

~

Lastly, I bring you some more art; the piece above is by dkim.  Real art from real people is something we always need more of.  This picture also reminds me of the first Ani Difranco song I connected with, when she sings,

two people pulled over on the same night
to look up at the same stars
they both found their wheels were spinning
in a soft shoulder…

~

Anyway, happy shopping, happy inspiration, and happy day after Thanksgiving!

Do you buy presents for all your family, or do a specified swap?  Do you buy for your friends? Do they buy for you?  Is your birthday like mine and Turtle’s and right after or before the holidays, and is this worth mourning or celebration?

 

(None of this is a “sponsored” post – these are all just things that I think are really pretty or that I had a good experience buying and owning.)

It’s far too late to unlove each other

Happy Thanksgiving!

And hi to the 49 of you who checked my blog already today.  You make me feel extra special.

I’m in a bit of a food coma and have cuddled with about five million cats today, all but two and a half of which did not belong to me.  The half is for Truman, who (still) may or may not be staying with us; regardless, he lives with us now.  Truman Fact of the Day: his purr button definitely works.  This kitten purrs at the drop of a hat! Second fact: he is very sharp and pointy.

For you on this Thanksgiving, I have two things.  First: a poem that we considered but did not read at our wedding.  I have always found truth and inspiration in it.  Second: a picture of us, last Thanksgiving, on the first of what I hope becomes a regular tradition – a pre-Thanksgiving walk in the woods.

I hope you all had a day that was what you hoped it would be.

Misgivings
“Perhaps you’ll tire of me,” muses
my love, although she’s like a great city
to me, or a park that finds new
ways to wear each flounce of light
and investiture of weather.
Soil doesn’t tire of rain, I think,

but I know what she fears: plans warp,
planes explode, topsoil gets peeled away
by floods. And worse than what we can’t
control is what we could; those drab
scuttled marriages we shed so
gratefully may auger we’re on our owns

for good reason. “Hi, honey,” chirps Dread
when I come through the door; “you’re home.”
Experience is a great teacher
of the value of experience,
its claustrophobic prudence,
its gloomy name-the-disasters-

in-advance charisma. Listen,
my wary one, it’s far too late
to unlove each other. Instead let’s cook
something elaborate and not
invite anyone to share it but eat it
all up very very slowly.

-William Matthews

(If you are wondering why I appear to be pointing my finger in this picture, it is because my finger was gravely injured, and wrapped up in a serious bandaid contraption?  How did I injure it?  Well, I’m sure you recall my mention of Pear and Fingernail Pie.  Lesson of the day: use caution while peeling pears.)

P.S. I wasn’t going to talk about things I am grateful for, because the list is long and more important for me than it is for you. But! You guys! While I was writing this, grumpy One-Eyed Jake started WASHING TRUMAN’S FACE! I am thankful for cats who love each other and are adorable.

P.P.S. It was short-lived. Now they are fighting and Jake is hissing and growling a lot.  Moral of the story (and the poem, IMHO)? Enjoy it while you have it.

“One of the biggest blessings of my life…”

So you probably heard how I’m about to be unemployed, which means that I am taking on a whole lot more extra work than I can handle in a sane sort of way.  Luckily, my amazing wife is supportive times a million and is taking care of things like the beasts and reminding me that it will get better.

Point being, posting might be a little light on substance, so I’m sorry about that.  Hopefully low substance can still equal medium to high entertainment.

Speaking of It Gets Better, here’s my favorite video of the series so far.  Have your tissues ready.

The part that gets me is at 5:18.  Seriously, have those tissues ready.

 

(While I never considered suicide because of my sexual identity, I do think that seeing a video like this would have helped me a lot while I was coming out.  To see people who are comfortable, who are grateful, who can talk of the hard times and also not talk about the hard times inspires such confidence in me.  I love 5:45: “It’s been one of the biggest blessings of my life… it’s made me such a stronger person to be gay. There’s nothing I would do to change that now.”)

Integration Insanity

Me: “What should I write about today? How vet care is expensive or integrating animals?”
Turtle: “Write about integrating animals! And how it’s not that different from integrating family!”
Me: “Uh, yeah, except I think they generally frown on locking your family in one room for a week.”

Good morning, folks! Raise your hand if you have more than one pet at home.  And by raise your hand, I mean leave me a comment, preferably linking to an adorable picture of your animals.  Thanks.

"Pssst, wake up! I think she's going to talk about us!"

Today’s topic, which I am an expert on, is integrating your animals.  The reason I am an expert is 1. I work at an animal hospital, and I have worked in veterinary medicine for over 10 years now, so I know what I’m talking about, and 2. I have a household of animals, and we all live quietly, and peacefully.  You can often find the cats cuddling together on the bed while the dog and kitten sleep peacefully at our feet.

It is, of course, always this calm and peaceful in the Bird-Turtle household. Obviously.

I just made myself laugh out loud.  That last part is completely untrue.

Here’s the thing about integrating animals: some people are lucky and bring together two cats that end up loving each other; many people are not lucky.  What I want to tell you about is less, “Here’s absolutely how you should do it and it will definitely turn out well,” and more, “Here are some tips so that you all retain at least a portion of your sanity, neurotic cat probably included.”  Most of these are thoughts I have on mixing dogs and cats; I think if you’re blending a two-dog family it’s all a little different.

First, introductions: introductions should happen slowly and over at least a week or so.  Give a new cat one room that she can stay in, and where she has everything she needs (food, litter, bed).  The bathroom is NOT big enough to serve this purpose; usually a bedroom works well.  Every so often during the week, swap your animals, so that Newbie gets the run of the house while EstablishedAnimal (EA) hangs out in the room, and they can get used to each other’s smells.  Sometimes it helps to feed them in the other area so that something good is happening and associated with the scent of the other animal.

The bathroom is acceptable if you have a TEENY WEENY kitten who needs to live in the tub until he's big enough to walk.

The next step here is sort of personal preference: one of our clients had really good luck putting a screen door up in her bedroom so her cats could meet through the screen door.  Generally, our family is not equipped for that, so we just throw them together and trust the cats to put everyone else in their place.  Cats should always be in charge.

Foster kitten Ida and Finnegan meet/play through Ida's crate.

Second, give each pet their own space. They need to know that there is a place that they are safe from the other pets.  Right now, we have a crate for Truman (the kitten) where he stays for a portion of the day; that’s the time of the day when Piper can come out of hiding.  We also don’t let Daphne in half the house, so the cats know that they can be in the other half of the house.  It was actually the easiest thing we ever taught Daphne – we just walk toward her while saying “Get out!” and stop walking when she crossed the door threshold.  Now that she learns it, she will sit right at the threshold waiting for us.  Smart pup.

Special space for everyone: Jake owns the top of the crate, Daphne owns the inside of the crate and often allows for visitors.

Oh, and remember that sentence up there where I talked about our cats cuddling and dog and kitten sleeping at our feet?  Well, the real story is more like, “And then our cats were swatting at each other while the dog chased the kitten around the room and then the kitten jumped on Piper who screamed like she was being murdered and then the dog barked and Jake ran up and hit her on the head.”  Far from peaceful, but usually entertaining, if a little nutty.  And the moral of that story? Third, keep your fingers crossed and your camera handy.

evidence that the cats existed in the same room and no one died.

Finally, remember that cats and dogs speak opposite languages.  Example: a dog lifting its paw is trying to play; a cat lifting its paw is trying to claw your eyes out.  Example 2: a dog wagging its tail is happy and wants to play; a cat wagging its tail is plotting your demise.

And because I took lots of videos of our cats and dog, I bring you an integration montage:

If you have more than one animal, how did your introductions go?  Are you one of the families whose pets are definitely not best friends, or did they take to each other immediately?

Addendum: as I write this, the dog is wrestling with the kitten on my feet, and then the kitten is taking a break to chase the cats around the house, and the cats are running while hissing, which makes for pretty good entertainment.  Folks, it often is a good idea to put a kitten down for a nap.  Not only does he need it, we all need it.

Whittling Our Way to Our Weddings

Okay, folks, we’re 22 days into NaBloPoMo, and I am sort of exhausted.  On the other hand, I’m also proud! Look, I can write every day! I think this means I can go back to listing “writing” as one of my hobbies, which is something I just sort of forgot to stop saying after, you know, third grade.  I always liked the idea of writing, but look – now I actually do it!

Here’s the other part of it, though: it is a pretty neat goal to write something every day and to produce at least one post a day (and sometimes two when I hit “Publish” before I edit “schedule”, lucky you!), but it’s also not really worth writing something unless it’s something I care about writing about. Uh oh, you’re thinking, Now is when she says, “Wasn’t that a nice post? The end.” Well, don’t you worry your pretty little head! I am not wussing out.  And not only am I not wussing out, but I am also bringing you beautiful lesbian wedding pictures.  What could be better?

—

NFE & her partner A

I was recently talking to New Friend Ellen about weddings, gay and straight, and why it feels so important to see people like us represented.  This quickly evolved into a conversation about weddings in general, gay marriage, and how we, as queer women, feel represented in the wedding industry.  Answer? Not much.

But the other side of this is that it frees us up quite a bit.  When we don’t see people like us doing “what people are supposed to do,” it gives us the freedom to decide what we want to do.  Is this worth the trade of not being legally recognized in all but a handful of states? Um, no.  But let’s look on the bright side here.

One thing NFE said that struck me was this: that straight couples start out with a formula, a script for their weddings.  Step one, walk down aisle with father. Step two, meet husband-to-be at the front. Etcetera.  And you know that this is the script you start with, and then – if you’re lucky, if you realize that changing the script is an option – you take it and break it down, keep the parts you want and fiddle with the parts you don’t want.

tradition

But if you’re not a straight couple… well, where do you start?  Do you walk down the aisle together?  Is there even an aisle?  As a lesbian couple, we sort of get to start from scratch.  Instead of having a list of what should be done and having to whittle away to find what we wanted, we get to build something new; we take a piece from here, a piece from there, and create something that was still undeniably a wedding.  In being rejected by much of the Wedding Industrial Complex, we get to create our own path and our own vision.

Thanks, NFE, for the amazing pictures and the thought-provoking conversation.

What do you think of this idea, of creating from scratch vs. starting with a script?

*All photos by Kelly at Closed Circle Photo.