Okay, folks, we’re 22 days into NaBloPoMo, and I am sort of exhausted. On the other hand, I’m also proud! Look, I can write every day! I think this means I can go back to listing “writing” as one of my hobbies, which is something I just sort of forgot to stop saying after, you know, third grade. I always liked the idea of writing, but look – now I actually do it!
Here’s the other part of it, though: it is a pretty neat goal to write something every day and to produce at least one post a day (and sometimes two when I hit “Publish” before I edit “schedule”, lucky you!), but it’s also not really worth writing something unless it’s something I care about writing about. Uh oh, you’re thinking, Now is when she says, “Wasn’t that a nice post? The end.” Well, don’t you worry your pretty little head! I am not wussing out. And not only am I not wussing out, but I am also bringing you beautiful lesbian wedding pictures. What could be better?
I was recently talking to New Friend Ellen about weddings, gay and straight, and why it feels so important to see people like us represented. This quickly evolved into a conversation about weddings in general, gay marriage, and how we, as queer women, feel represented in the wedding industry. Answer? Not much.
But the other side of this is that it frees us up quite a bit. When we don’t see people like us doing “what people are supposed to do,” it gives us the freedom to decide what we want to do. Is this worth the trade of not being legally recognized in all but a handful of states? Um, no. But let’s look on the bright side here.
One thing NFE said that struck me was this: that straight couples start out with a formula, a script for their weddings. Step one, walk down aisle with father. Step two, meet husband-to-be at the front. Etcetera. And you know that this is the script you start with, and then – if you’re lucky, if you realize that changing the script is an option – you take it and break it down, keep the parts you want and fiddle with the parts you don’t want.
But if you’re not a straight couple… well, where do you start? Do you walk down the aisle together? Is there even an aisle? As a lesbian couple, we sort of get to start from scratch. Instead of having a list of what should be done and having to whittle away to find what we wanted, we get to build something new; we take a piece from here, a piece from there, and create something that was still undeniably a wedding. In being rejected by much of the Wedding Industrial Complex, we get to create our own path and our own vision.
What do you think of this idea, of creating from scratch vs. starting with a script?
*All photos by Kelly at Closed Circle Photo.