Sometimes I feel like a huge dork for still caring as much about marriage and weddings as I do. I mean, of course I care about my marriage, and I’m still working on my wedding recaps, so yes, of course I care at least a little bit about weddings… but the thing is, I am still way more excited to read about/talk about/think about marriage and weddings in general than I thought I would be.
Luckily, A Practical Wedding has my back, as always. This weekend was the second APW book club (though my first), which I suspect is just a matter of using a book as an excuse to get a bunch of smart, interesting women who don’t know each other to spend some time together talking about something that isn’t often talked about beyond floofy dresses and guest lists or outside of crises. Really, how often do you hear people talking about their healthy marriages? Not often.
So I spent two weeks carrying around Elizabeth Gilbert’s Committed, which I never managed to reread (I had read it a few months ago), and then I dug out some leftover champagne from our wedding, bought some orange juice, and trekked into Cambridge for the Boston APW meetup. There were probably fifteen of us there, and, sadly, we only realized we should take a group picture after most people had left.
Apparently after the last APW bookclub, Boston was accused of being “wholesome”, so this time we all grabbed the wine bottles to show off. Funny story: you may notice that most of them are still full. Sad story: I didn’t realize all that wine was there until we took the picture, and then it was time to go. Hopefully, Awesome Host Meredith is enjoying her some APWine.
You guys, the conversation was awesome. I was surprised at how fun and easy and funny and interesting it was to sit around with 14 other strangers and talk about our marriages, or our prospective marriages, or the weird reactions we got to random aspects of wedding planning. Yes, we talked about our dresses and caterers and whether we did or were going to do pre-marital counseling – none of that should be surprising, you can find some version of that conversation on any wedding planning website. But we also talked about our marriages, and what is scary, and how to trust that you want to keep on doing this thing. We touched on the hard parts, on the huge, difficult things that we went through with our partners that cemented or even catapulted the decision to marry; we talked about deciding to marry without a ring or an announcement and the strangeness of that. We talked about parents’ relationships and the ending of parents’ relationships and how that set up our whole perspective on marriage.
Ah, anyway, you don’t care really what the topics were; I just don’t want to forget, because it all felt so important. I left the meeting three hours later feeling really inspired. I got home, announced that I was inspired, and then couldn’t figure out how to channel it. Disappointing. Unlike the food at the meeting:
Here’s what I’ve got for you: if you’re not already reading or commenting on A Practical Wedding, go do it. If you have thoughts on marriage, you’ll appreciate it. Even if you don’t read it all the time, go to the next book club! Especially if you’re in Boston!
Post-meeting, I spent some quality time doing what I love: writing here while cuddling kitten.
Did you go to a meet up Sunday? What did you take away from it? And did you actually talk about the book?