Please vote! And some gems on why we shouldn’t marry

Last night, we went to our favorite wine store for our favorite weekly wine tasting with two of our friends.  It’s worth noting, for the purposes of this story, that both friends are women, and they are married – to each other! Oh gosh, the things you are allowed to do in this day and age.

Anyway, not only was this week a slightly fancier wine-tasting than usual, but there were also local politicians who are running for office; it was a Meet the Candidate evening.  Okay, fine – I didn’t really want to chat too much, but I figured we could drink some wine and avoid the politics.  Oh how wrong I was.

After a few minutes there, a man in a nice shirt walked over with some brochures and roped us in.  We were wary at first, but eventually he declared himself “a liberal democrat, the last of a dying breed,” and brought up gay marriage and a couple of other issues we were interested in, with a perspective we agreed on.  He pointed out that this really is an important election, but also one that a lot of people don’t know much about, and so “the blanks win”.  He asked us to please spread the word about him, and honestly, after talking to him, I am happy to. Friend E smiled and said, “Well, you’ve got my vote.”  So if you’re considering not voting, or are not sure who to vote for for governor’s council, let me suggest Terry Kennedy.

Shortly after that conversation, another man came up to us and introduced himself.  I realized who he was and I really wanted some wine, so I just told him: “We’re voting for the other guy.” He sort of smiled, and then asked why, which I countered with, “How do you feel about gay marriage?”

There we were, two legally-in-Massachusetts-and-a-handful-of-other-states married lesbian couples, and he told us why we shouldn’t have the right.  Some gems include:

– “Well, I believe marriage is only for having and raising children.” He had no response to A & E’s assertion that they plan to have kids, or my response that we’re interested in providing foster care.

– “I’m divorced, and my girlfriend is divorced, and lots of gay couples are divorced now, too!” Um… thanks, I’m convinced.

– “Well, my girlfriend and I decided not to get married.”  He couldn’t think of what to say when I pointed out that he could make that choice.

– “Yeah, I think you should have all the tax benefits, absolutely, and of course you should be able to have hospital and jail visitation.  But that’s not marriage.”

Ugh. I think my favorite was, “Well, my girlfriend and I decided not to get married. We were both married before, had our kids, and don’t want more.”  Well, thanks, Mr. Politician.  Enjoy your privilege.

What’s the point of telling you this?  The point is: it turns out that the upcoming election really is important.  Please do some research, even just a little bit, and make sure to vote.

Some information on who the Human Rights Campaign endorses.

Get some more information about where you should vote.



Filed under gay, Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

8 responses to “Please vote! And some gems on why we shouldn’t marry

  1. Wow. That second candidate sounds special. Yay voting!

  2. This is very interesting. Thanks for sharing! Also, this is the first time I’ve heard you mention fostering! What a totally wonderful and fabulous idea. I want to hear more about this.

  3. Yes, this IS an important election. Very important we urge everyone to get to the polls.

    I can’t believe that’s politician’s gall.

  4. Melissa

    K, I’ll keep all the rest of my opinions to myself since I’m on valium and not really sure who to think right now 🙂 See? I meant *what. Criminey…

    Foster care: PLEASE take time before you decide to do this and be in a real stable, comfortable place in life. These kids are SO challenging. You will not have time to work on your life, relationship, plans, etc…Your time and energy go toward helping these hurt kids. I think you’ll be great! But please don’t jump in right away. You know where my life is right now, and why I feel I can chime in on this 🙂 They take so much and they can’t give anything back because of the damage in their own lives. Again, I think that the fact that you want to offer your home and family to children is AMAZING, but I think you need some time to yourselves before you on this challenge…sometimes? they NEVER LEAVE!!!!! LOL, Love you!

  5. The problem is undeclared/unacknowledged privilege with a capital P.
    I’m not looking for the people who decide not to, as straight people, get married to make a case against gay marriage. I’m not asking for the gay couples (or, I love…the single folks or either persuasion) who think, that, simply because they haven’t come across a need or want, that they won’t ever.
    It’s like white, male, non-convicted criminals who say, “I don’t understand why everyone’s trying to vote/go to war/pick his or her nose. I mean I CAN, by all right s of any law, do all of these things but chose not to. Why would you FIGHT to do them?” No, sir, you see, the thing is not to fight TO DO them…it’s to be able to sit back and casually say “Oh, I don’t FEEL like it so I won’t”…not “I’d like to, I really would, but I can’t so I won’t.”
    Now, I CAN’T, really can’t vote for the election but that’s because I’m busy working on different fights in Atlanta…which, is really very gay but also very antiquated and southern…you can wish me luck but I prefer the classic eye roll and to just keep on plugging…
    Fight the good fight at the polls, ladies! I’m crossing my “bi-and-0married-to-a-dude-but-not-narrow-and-living-in-the-south-but-making-it-more-liberally-democrativ-every-day” fingers. ;O)

  6. Ellen G

    Another gem: his gay cousin isn’t married. So that’s a valid reason for him to be against gay marriage…right? Ugh.

  7. i just read this and let out a big sigh.

    good for you and challenging this guy. i think it’s so funny how politicians (and even non-politicians) stumble on their words.

    and i got an email from the HRC about candidates in my area. best believe it’s played a role in my vote.

  8. wow. that second candidate sounds like a real winner. um. yeah. not at all.

    Yay for voting! And yay for fostering!

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