Dear Past Miss Bird,

The past month of marriage has been awesome, but you knew it would be.  You’re pretty smart.  Here’s the thing, though: you don’t know everything, and you can’t prepare for everything. You’re doing a great job trying, but here are some lessons I’d like to share with you:

There will probably be drama.  It will probably not come from places you expect, and will come from places you don’t expect.  The point of this is not to say that you should be paranoid and always on the lookout for it, but that, really, you should stop worrying about it, because you can’t do anything about it.  Whatever the drama is, it has nothing to do with your wedding – it’s just a reason to bring up something that is already there.  It will not matter on your wedding day, so why worry about it now?

Identify the details that are really, really important to you, and make them happen. The rest of them just don’t matter, and they don’t have to be amazing.  You can spend the morning stamping table numbers two days before your wedding, and you will get compliments on them.  They’ll be cute, and everyone will notice the flowers more, anyway.

Good job picking vendors you loved.  Trust yourself on that one: if you don’t love them, move on.  It makes all the difference in the end. On that note: skip out on David’s Bridal, even if the dress looks pretty! The customer service will sour the whole thing.

Find the things you would be willing to let other people help with early, because people will appear to help, and they want to feel useful.  Take advantage of this; it’ll make them feel good, it’ll make you feel good.

EAT THE FOOD. Stop being nervous.  I know, easier said than done – but the food is GOOD. Eat it. (But only eat enough that you have room for pie afterward.)


Take advantage of every opportunity to be celebratory with people you love.  Again, they want to be involved, and you will be so happy you spent the time with them.

And, self? Even if you don’t do any of these things, it will be amazing.  I know you’ve read that on a hundred other websites and you’re thinking, “blah blah blah, I know, I know”… well, it’s true, and you don’t know.  But you will know.

With love,

Ms. Bird-Turtle


Filed under Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

2 responses to “Dear Past Miss Bird,

  1. Oh, Ms. Bird-Turtle. I feel like just months ago we were writing back and forth all ‘WTF do we do?’

    And now here you are reflecting on your day. I love it so. Funny how it all sort of makes sense the day of. Things that were once so important fall off our radar and the things that need to be done or we can’t live without magically (ok, not magically… more like feverishly) get done. 🙂

  2. I wish my future-married self could send me a message like this. It would be so helpful. But alas, such things do not happen in real life. So all we can do is write things from our current self to our past self.

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