Hello, lovelies! Did you miss me? Did you wonder where I was?
I was in CRAZY BRIDE TOWN. And now I am back. And by back, I mean poking my head in to say hello to the people who faithfully visit this page. Hello!
So here’s what’s happening, guys: that little countdown ticker dude on the right side of this page is counting down. It’s a stubborn little thing, but luckily I caught on a few weeks ago that it was counting down till midnight on the 17th, so it appeared to be a day ahead of time. Glad I realized that when I did because otherwise I would be FREAKING OUT right now. Not that I’m not already.
So here’s what is happening:
1. I got my hair flower. It is amazing! I love it so very much, and try it on at inappropriate times. Hair flower drama: I thought I would wear it on the right side of my head, but now I have to wear it on the left, because it turns out Turtle always hugs me on my right side, and the flower would scratch her face. Oh the decisions!
2. My suit, nearly perfect, disappeared in the mail on its way back to MacheteNSons for final alterations. It appears that it spent 7 days sitting in a processing facility in Denver, CO, and is now making its way through Des Moines, IA back to me. They never received it. But GET THIS! Well, before you get this, let me tell you that if you ever need a suit, you must get it from AJ and Lianna. They are amazing. Here is what you must get: they are making me a new suit, from scratch, RIGHT NOW. And then they will overnight it to me. Seriously, folks, this is the best customer service I have ever gotten, ever, not to mention a really nice suit. Go buy yourself something.
3. I had a bachelorette party. There will be an entire post about this sometime soon, but in the meantime, here is a scene from Sunday: my father is at our house, watching football, and I am more or less passed out on the couch, possibly hungover, but probably still drunk from the night before. Turtle walks in, looks around, declares, “This is not my life!” and walks out. Hilarious. Also, her mom cleaned up my vomit. If that isn’t a big ol’ “Welcome to the family, we really love you!” I just don’t know what is.
4. We, um, finished our ketubah/marriage certificate text. And that happened about an hour ago. And now we are in a desperate search to find somewhere that can make it look pretty on nice paper by Friday. Does such a place exist? Do you have graphic design skills and want to help us?
5. My vows make me cry, and I’m only reading them to myself, in my head. My dress has pockets for tissues. Yay, good decision-making!
6. Do you want to write a guest post while I am on my honeymoon? Please say yes.
Thank you all for reading, and sorry for the absence… but ZOMG. 5 days! Or 4, if you read this at a reasonable hour. Strangely, or maybe not strangely, I am feeling both crazy stressed out and very calm at the same time. Not sure how that works.
Leave me your words of wisdom, your secrets to inner peace, and the contact info for your favorite graphic designer! And remember, dear readers: it is all going to be wonderful, even if it’s not what you had planned 10 months ago.