A few of my favor(ite) things, take 3


For example, we’re getting married in ten days. Maybe nine days by the time you read this. Don’t freak out because not everyone can freak out, and we have dibs.

Two glasses of wine into my evening, I decided that stamping individual letters onto the seating assignments was probably a little beyond my capacity… what can I say, I’m a small person and two glasses of wine is a a lot of wine for me.  You wouldn’t believe how much spell-check helped this post happen. Anyway.  Rather than make seating assignments, I decided to work on our favors, and that brings me to our last Favor(ite) Things post: the candles.

The candles were the original idea, and, I think, are awesome.  That said, they were the biggest time-suck of all of the favors. The most money and the most effort for the least results.  But, whoa, they smell good, and they’re nice, and who doesn’t like a nice beeswax candle? No one, kids, no one.

So here’s how you do it:

supplies: wax, wicks, weights, and a jar

cut the wax. this is SO HARD. that's why we only have 8 candles. yes, 8, for all this work.

you can stab it and nothing happens! don't say I didn't warn you.

some people have double boilers. i have a measuring cup in a pot of boiling water. it works.

once it melts, you have a clear liquid.

prepare the wick - cut to the appropriate size and attach weight

attach top of wick to something that will hold it up when you pour in the wax... you can trim excess wick later

action shot! pour hot wax into jar.

setups for multiples

pretty candles setting!

my amazing photography celebrates our success (which smells lovely!)

why, where did this beautiful candle come from? someone awesome must have made it.

But also, forget favors.  Here is what is happening ten days before the wedding:

We are freaking out.  We are forgetting to take our regular medications, and we are fighting a lot. Seriously: a lot.  A friend of mine who got married last year said, “Wait till the week before your wedding. The week before our wedding, there was just so much love and support. The week before our wedding was amazing. So much love.”

cute pictures of us interspersed in here to remind me of the important part: how happy we make each other.

Okay: I know there will be love.  There already is love.  I am blown away by the people who have stepped up, by the offers to help with things wedding-related, like various parties and craft projects, and the things sanity-related, like painting our study.  Yes, one of our bridal brigade spent Sunday with us painting our study so that I could have a good place to study Orgo and a nice guest room during our wedding craziness.  Thank you, Laurie!

Well, I don’t know about a week before our wedding; we still have a few days to go.  But I can tell you that ten days before our wedding, we are arguing, a lot.  Stress levels are high.  Will the favors get done? Where will we seat people? Did my suit get lost in the mail (answer: possibly. It’s in Colorado somewhere.)?  How will people get to the wedding? Will the car be fixed by then (answer: probably not. The Awesome continues.)?

More hapy pictures! photo by Ellie Leonardsmith

Okay, I know I’ve said this a million times before, but here’s the thing: there is no one else I would rather be arguing with.  Plus, my therapist says this is normal pre-wedding behavior.  Turtle says that she’s sorry, but she thinks she’s probably testing me to make sure I’ll stick around.  And I’m for sure stressed out about classes and missing them – and hopefully that was resolved by my officially dropping both of them today, though my guilt about putting off vet school for another year adds another level of stress.  Someone, please tell me it is crazy of me to start Organic Chemistry a week and a half before getting married? Yes?

So what is the takeaway here? The takeaway is that getting married is crazy sh*t, you guys.  It is nutty, and it is hard to prepare for this big party that has all of your most important people.  Even if it’s simple, of course it’s crazy, right?

A friend of mine got married recently, and it sounded like her wedding turned into a much bigger event than she originally planned, and a lot of people that she didn’t really, truly want there all said they would be there.  So she and her fiance and their two best friends went to the ocean at midnight and said their vows and they were married there at midnight on the day of their wedding.  I think that is amazing.

silly, because that's how we roll. photo by Ellie Leonardsmith

But, same thing I’ve always said, our people are important to us. The community that has supported us is important to us.  Turtle’s mom is coming this weekend and I am SO relieved by that.

Oh, you guys, I feel like I’m losing it a little.  Seriously, what are your happy ideas/sanity-savers/survival mechanisms?  Some happy, calm thoughts would be helpful. Thank you, fo’ reals. You guys are amazing.



Filed under Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

12 responses to “A few of my favor(ite) things, take 3

  1. Okay seriously? I am a HOT MESS. HOTTTTT. MESSSSS. It is such a foreign feeling to me, because I am ALWAYS the zen, level-headed person who prioritizes what can get done and what can’t and lets go of things easily and stays calm all the time. ALWAYS. Any of my friends would tell you this.

    In the past week, I have:
    * cried in my temp cubicle
    * more than once
    * frantically asked my fiance, “do you think we should have taken a break in college to date other people?! are we always going to wonder what else might be out there?!?!” (?!?!?!?!)
    * woken up with my heart racing every day
    * told my fiance, “I feel like my brain is eating itself,”
    * laid in the bed and practiced yoga breathing to soothe my loony self.

    What. The. Fuck. I seriously never expected I was going to come unglued like this. Even as recently as two weeks ago, people were asking me if I was stressed, and I was saying, nope! And now here I am, more frazzled and unhinged than I’ve pretty much ever been in my life. Uhhhh I think I feel my own post coming on.

    • I hope it’s not bad that this makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER. When Turtle got home last night I just burst into tears… she was like, “Have you been crying this whole time?” to which I replied, “No, only when you’re around.”
      I’ve started doing workouts when it gets overwhelming and then I’m sore the next day. Somehow that helps a little?
      Um, if you want to get together and do our own wedding-related projects in the same place, that might be fun. Well, it would either double or sanity or double our insanity. Unsure.
      Hang in there! I’ll try, too…

  2. Love the candles! I wish I had the patience for something like that, but alas, favors was where we drew the line and went with the winning duo of cheap and easy (but still cute I think!)

    As for the stress and the insanity, just think how calm and happy you’re going to feel in only 10 days! This will all be over and you’ll be able to start composing posts about how great your wedding was and how awesome the honeymoon was and how freakin’ great it is to be married. For realz. So keep breathing, drink another glass of wine (or maybe just half a glass ;)) and take a few minutes to relax. Also, it sounds like you made the right decision on orgo. Vet school will still be there when next year’s application cycle comes around, and there’s no reason to burden the end of your wedding planning and beginning of your marriage with what so many consider to be the epitome of “class from hell”. Good luck in these last 10 days, and don’t forget to lean on all of those people in the community that’s so important to you–they’re all here to support you and Turtle!

  3. Oh god how I feel you ladies. And then some… Today was full on melt down and cry day for me b/c of some family drama. And it was exhausting and annoying and hard. BUT then I talked to a friend of mine this evening and let me tell you that woman is wise- she had some of the best advice ever. I’m sure I’ve read it around the blogs, but tonight it really hit me: your wedding is not just a party. And it’s definitely not just about you. At least not entirely. It’s about everyone else projecting their feelings about exactly where they are in their lives on your wedding day. Sister whose life is a mess? check. Mother who is dealing with her youngest daughter getting married (to a woman) check? And the list goes on. Weddings are crazy shit- they bring out weird feelings/emotions behavior in us and the people around us. And all we can do is accept it and let it all roll off our backs. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Hang in their ladies- we’re almost married! And I know this exact advice does not pertain to your situation, but it was too valuable to not pass along. :)) LOTS of love!

    • yesssssssss

      maybe tomorrow(/today?) will be better for all of us. fingers crossed.

      i said to my therapist, 11 days out, “Ugh, I just need to survive till the 12th day from now,” and she looked me and said, “well, the 11th day is going to be pretty great, too.” And that’s true. I’m excited about the being married, but even though the prep has turned us into a big stress ball, the day of is still going to be awesome.

  4. Hm… ok, I apologize for saying that the last week was great. I’m pretty sure that was a moment of nostalgia… you know, like how women can’t remember the pain of childbirth and get pregnant again? That was probably what was going on there.

    I do also remember the stress of family members getting along, rushing all over Boston to get flowers from a farmer’s market for the bouquets, waiting anxiously for the earrings to arrive in the mail, etc. So what you’re feeling is normal!


  5. shoot. i test josh all the time. he’s still here.

    and those candles freaking rock. even with the fighting and high stress, look at the beautiful things that come out of it? and your suit – if it is lost… that’s some shit. but everything works out…

    my coping mechanism for pre-wedding stress was to just cross things off the list. if it wasn’t worth time or money, we got rid of it, which ended up being quite a bit of stuff (but whatev). i wanted to be sure that i took care of myself the week of. i wanted to get enough sleep, i didn’t want to break out, i didn’t want to get stressed out and overeat. so for me, the easiest thing to do was to just not do it and get over it. oh, and josh and i had a lot of sex. not sure if it was spurred by your guest post and our talks revolving on creating a healthy sex life for us, but something clicked. either way, it definitely took some stress away. haha!

  6. I was so stressed out before the wedding that the day before I said to the officiant, who is a friend, “Is it normal to want to kill the very person you’re about to say all these nice things to and vow to love forever?” He said “Oh, yes, absolutely.” And he’s been married 43 years! Take heart, take a deep breath, have some more wine. It’ll be okay.

  7. Sleep, sleep is good. When you are stressed, there’s nothing like lack of sleep to put you over the edge. And try to do one relaxing thing a day away from Turtle — bath, meditate, breathe deeply the smell of something you like. If you can, exercise — even if it’s just a walk around the block.

    You are sooooo close and I’m way excited for you! And your candles are very cute — well done.

  8. Whoa, that’s mighty crafty!

  9. Pingback: Page not found « Roughing It

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s