Blue Bridal Brigade

To be perfectly honest, bridesmaids’ dresses are not something in which I am willing to be terribly invested. You have all heard plenty about how much trouble I have dressing myself – and you expect me to dress a bunch of other people? Who all have different styles and different body types?

Um, H to the L nooooooo thank you.

That said, we did want to have some coherence in our bridal brigade – the people we asked to be in our bridal brigade are super important and incredibly helpful, and we wanted them to be recognizable.  We also wanted them to be comfortable, and, especially given our current relationship with money (read: we have very little and are still trying to be alive, keep our pets alive, and plan our wedding), wanted them to spend an appropriate amount of money for them, whether that meant a lot o’ monies or a little bit o’ monies.  This meant having a lot of flexibility.

First, we narrowed it down as far as colors go: navy.  That was easy.

Then we emailed out pictures of dresses we liked, and then various people emailed us back. Simple, right?

Well, yeah, except their emails said things like, “What about this dress in brown?” or “Hey, when are you going to be sending out your invitations?” or “I am thinking of wearing a pantsuit.”

Okay, the pantsuit would have been fine, but no, not that dress in brown.  All we picked was one color! Do everything else however you want!  After struggling with my frustration and guilt for a few minutes – we really weren’t asking much, right? Was it wrong of us to dictate a color? Should we be offering to buy our brigade’s dresses? – I realized that it was not that big a deal.  So I wrote back, said blue only, and rumor has it people have dresses.

Here are some dresses we considered, modeled by my lovely Moh:

Are you really making me stand here so you can take pictures for your blog?

Fine, Ill tolerate your crazy Seahorse antics.

effortlessly beautiful, with me looking, ahem, casual in the background

looooved this dress! loved it like a dinosaur. Hi sister! It looks like you're trying to be a dinosaur here! Safe to say this one's a no?

uh, if i hold my breath and arch my shoulders it stays on...

I’m pretty sure no one got any of these dresses, and I’m pretty sure at least two people have their dresses.  And I’m just not willing to be stressed out about it.

Steel City Bride said something interesting today about bridesmaids’ dresses:

I don’t necessarily think bridesmaid dresses need to be re-wearable. I think they should fall soundly within a reasonable budget (however “reasonable” is defined for the women in your party) and I think they shouldn’t be something that the bridesmaids would be embarrassed to wear again (a highly unflattering cut or material, for example), but other than that, I dunno. Wearing a dress that the bride chooses, even if it’s not necessarily something you’d choose yourself, is kind of a hallmark of the bridesmaid experience, I think, and it’s one that I didn’t feel compelled to revolutionize.

I think there’s a lot of freedom in that.  And if I was the bridesmaid, freedom for me: hand me an outfit, I will wear it and try to look good in it.  But for us, now?  It was wayyy less stress to let people do what they want.

Where are you on the spectrum?  Do you want your options, or your dress handed to you?  Do you even notice bridesmaids at weddings? Tell me about your favorite dress! Readygo!

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5 Comments

Filed under Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

5 responses to “Blue Bridal Brigade

  1. pamela

    so… as a member of the brigade do i get to comment? because i’d like to say that if i ever have to pick out a bridesmaid dress again, i’d want it to be as lovely and simple as you and your wonderful wife-to-be have made it. i loved the options, loooove the color, and loved the freedom you gave each of us to bring a little bit of ourselves to the equation. so stop stressing – bridesmaid dresses are the *last* thing you need to be worrying about! you did this part perfectly and needn’t second-guess yourselves… now as for the rest of the wedding shindig things you have to take care of? get on the stick, already! only 56 more days left!! 😉

  2. We let our gals choose their dress, shoes, etc. We just said YELLOW. And I think they were in a bit of a shock because some of them were all “so…. just…. yellow?” Then I’d add, “yes, and no full-length business. Keep it short.” Then they’re like, “can it have print on it?” And I say, “Just make sure the damn thing is yellow!” Haha! The reason I had them pick is because 1.) I don’t care too much about it and 2.) One thing less for me to do! 🙂

    I think their shock was caused by the fact that they could pick it themselves and because they also felt lost. I provided little direction and it kind of made them panic. My cousin sent me like twenty emails of diff dresses online. I told her I loved all of them, so she eventually just picked something. I’m excited because I think their personalities will show through their style, but they will still look like my bitchin’ army of sunshine!

  3. I’m only having a MOH so I told her she can choose whatever she wants, even whatever color she wants. When you’re having a small wedding of 40, with one attendant…well, even choosing the color seems a bit silly.
    But if I was having more than one, I think I would have done the same – picked the color, and then told them to just be in “blue” or “yellow”. I think as much as some women bitch about the unwearable dress, it also takes away the decision making stress and so they miss being told what to wear. But I’ve also been to a wedding that had three bridesmaids, and the bride told them, seriously, wear any dress you want. And you know what – it looked fabulous with a great bright green, a navy, and a pale yellow. And the girls all paid what they wanted for dresses from where they wanted and I’ve seen them wear them again to other weddings, events, etc.

    But yes, if the bride chooses it – why bitch? who cares, it’s one day. (I can respect bitching if the dress is $300 for example – I do think the bride should be considerate of $$)

    and by the way – I think all of these navy dresses are super cute and I would totally go with numero dos. you know, if I had the choice 🙂

  4. Note: I like the dress in the second photo.

    So, we just gave the color (in the form of a little color swatch of fabric). We let them pick a dress that suited them but asked for no long dresses because Ashley wore a white knee length sundress (it was June in Florida and we were outside). Since I wore pants I wanted my girls to wear something similar so we said khaki shorts/skirt/whatever with colored shirt. It mostly went okay. I must say that one of our major-right-before-the-wedding-crisis incidents was that one bridesmaid had not found the attire 3 days before the big day (3 days!), and long story but there was a change in bridesmaids and a trip to the store to purchase Rit Dye. It all turned out fine except for the original bridesmaid that decided to skip out because she hadn’t found her attire. She didn’t come at all and it was sad. Don’t stress over the dresses, it will all come together.

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