Adhesions and Alterations

I suppose now that I’ve declared myself “back”, I should act as though I’m back. I’ve decided that once you convince more than four people to read your blog, it’s sort of your responsibility to give them something to read.

oh, uh, hey there, readers. come here often?

Two things have made our wedding seem more *real* than others: our invitations and getting our dresses fitted.  And since we haven’t sent out our invitations yet (I’m sure the Knot would disapprove… as would my grandmother), I will tell you about our dress fittings.

We bought our dresses at David’s Bridal, and picked them up a few weeks later.  I’m not entirely clear on why they have you going back to the store so many times, but here is my understanding of how the process works.  Please tell me that you also think this is a bit ridiculous:

  1. Try on dresses. Pick one.  Pay for it, but don’t take anything home. (Your dress = somewhere mysterious… possibly at the actual store?)
  2. Get a phone call weeks later that your dress has arrived. Go pick it up. (Your dress = at home)
  3. Go in for alterations. Leave your dress and measurements. (Your dress = at store)
  4. Pick your dress up, take it home. (Your dress = at home)
  5. Bring your dress back for steaming. (Your dress = at store)
  6. Bring your dress home. (Your dress = at home)
  7. Wear your dress at your wedding.

I had no idea it was this complicated.  Why can’t they fit you when you pick up your dress, then hang onto it and steam it for you before you pick it up?  There’s probably a reason, but I declare it a silly reason.

Anyway, they called us last week to confirm our alterations appointment, and to be sure to bring the dresses, shoes we would be wearing, method of payment, and undergarments.

Uh, undergarments? I think I forgot to think about those with all the other stuff that’s been going on, like, you know, life.  I start to panic a little – my MO these days – and Turtle reassures me that it’s fine, she’ll go buy us some undergarments the day before our fitting while I’m at work.

You guys, this is so not what I think of when I think “bra”:

click for source, where you can buy your own non-bra!

First, that is totally not my body. Just in case you were wondering.  I’m pretty sure that body has no bust, and I have quite a bit of bust.  This contraption looked pretty silly on me.  Second, the way it works is that it adheres using your body heat. TOTALLY CREEPY.  And third, it works. Also totally creepy.  So you adhere these two cups to your bosoms, and then once they’re on there pretty well, you clip them together.  You can use the clasp to achieve a bit of a push-up effect. You can also use this contrapment to feel like someone is walking around groping you all day long. And not in the sexy-time way.

Anyway, we arrive, dresses (big, heavy dresses) in hand, and no one is there to help us.  We have no idea where to go.  Finally, someone shows up and says, “Are you here for alterations?”  When we affirm that we, the two women carrying giant bags of dresses with shoes in our other hand, are looking for alterations and do not know where it is, the clearly-offended salesperson helps us find it.

At this point I am really, really anxious.  I definitely did not shave before this appointment.  I am looking pretty dykey today, and I am here with my lady – the one I am marrying.  I have had a few not-so-great experiences with David’s Bridal, and I am bracing myself for another crappy experience, a la, “Those are your shoes? You are going to shave your legs before your wedding, right? Aren’t you going to grow out your hair?”  I admit that not all of these fears are entirely rational, but they are fears.

Never fear, dear readers: our alterations person was the sweetest person ever.  Turtle was nervous about what was happening and she kindly told us about her past thirty years of sewing experience.  She heard our concerns about length and bustle and comfort and she addressed them happily and calmly.  Mary Jo of David’s Bridal – you are wonderful.

Halfway through my alterations, another woman came in to have her bridesmaid dress altered.  Let’s just say that she was definitely straight, and there we were, a pair of lesbians in our wedding dresses, hanging out.  I’m always a little nervous in these situations – how will people respond? It’s not that I felt unsafe at David’s Bridal getting fitted with this stranger next to us, but it is not fun to bear the brunt of someone else’s biased disapproval.  Point being: I was nervous and a little bit antsy and couldn’t figure out if it was better to ignore her (awkward, since she was two feet from me) or make small talk (awkward, I’m nervous and don’t know her).

So at one point she says, “So, are you two friends? Are you getting married close to each other?”

And my lovely, calm, beautiful Turtle smiles and says, “Same day.  To each other.”

My world froze for a minute.  Would this woman storm out? Would our alterations lady from Brazil suddenly refuse to work with us?  Would we have to get new dresses, would we have to leave quickly, what was going to happen?

That woman smiled, and said, “Oh my goodness, THAT’S GREAT. Congratulations!”

And Mary Jo said, “Wow, congratulations, congratulations, good for you!  That is wonderful!”

And then we all stood around smiling.  And then went back to the alterations.

My dress, which is at the store, feels more like my dress.  And wow, I felt pretty in it.  I declined the fancy poofy slip, I declined the enormous breast cups, and insisted on making sure it was comfortable.  And I can’t wait to wear it.

For your entertainment, a few non-dress-giving-away pictures:

forcing your fiancee to wear pretty head things is fun!

see? she loves it!

The whole process feels a little silly to me, but I admit that the bigness of it, the little steps all becoming one big thing I check off the list, is making it feel closer, more real – in a good way.  Wearing the dress and looking at myself in the mirror made me feel amazing – not because the dress looked good (though it did), but honestly because I knew that the next time I wore this dress in front of a bunch of people they would be people I am really, really looking forward to seeing, people I love, people I can’t wait to be surrounded by.

I can’t wait to get married* in this dress, to this lady:

photo by Ellie Leonardsmith

*Ahem, after we send out invites, write our vows, etc. Really, I can wait, if only so I have a little more time to plan.  Don’t worry, Grandma, we’re still getting married! Invite coming soon, I promise!



Filed under Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

2 responses to “Adhesions and Alterations

  1. Bird, you crack me up. I’m all giggly and happy for you two to share the experience together. In fact, I’m kind of jealous. Josh did his suit thing. I did my dress thing, we showed each other, end of story. But you two get to do 1-7 and that’s awesome. I think we have a certain advantage over people who have someone else plan their wedding (this may get me into trouble), but since we’re doing most of it together we have a certain sense of investment. It’s like we both carried something to term together and it’s really nice. I lie. It’s freaking fantastic!

    So when we get to look into the eyes of our cranberry sauce, we can say that we worked as a team for our wedding and we will continue to do so for the rest of our lives. Yay!!!!

    p.s. How did Turtle get that to stay on her head? Headband? Please share your short-hair bride wisdom with me.

    • it’s a headband! and omg would look so good on you! except it’s from david’s bridal… oh well.

      what are you doing with your hair? please share.

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