Detail Nemesis

Okay, I know – I know! – I’ve said plenty of times that the details don’t matter, it’s about the relationship, blah blah blah. And it is. I absolutely do not rescind that sentiment. However, one still kind of needs the details.

As you know if you’ve read anything about me, met me, or probably seen a picture of me, my Detail Nemesis is clothing.  Luckily, I’ve got that whole wedding dress thing figured out, and my custom-made-from-Etsy suit should be arriving in the mail in a couple of weeks.  In the meantime, my Detail Nemesis is more specific: shoes.

I have written many a post on shoes, and “is this one okay? How about this? Here is what I really like.”  And I am always met with someone saying, “THAT IS THE WORST IDEA YOU EVER HAD” or “They have to be white!” or “Do what you want, but I think those don’t go,” or “I’m saying they’re fine with my words, but my wrinkled forehead and sneer indicate that I have other feelings.”

I bought these shoes, because I loved them…


and then I realized that the heels were just too much for me. Luckily my sister also loved them and she is their new proud owner.

Then I found these shoes…


… and then I saw their price tag.  Oh well.

But you guys – I finally did it. I found some shoes.

I was being stubborn and insisting that I could find one pair of shoes to wear with both dress and suit.  This was hard because 1. I have no idea what my suit actually looks like, and 2. No one approved of any of my choices for both outfits.

Then, in a freak occurrence, I found some shoes that I liked and of which various family members approved:

And I was all prepared to be happy with these. They’re nice enough, they’re comfortable, they were only $30… and then I found these:

Oooh Pretty Shoe!

Shoe, I find it pleasant to look at you.

You make me feel silly and happy, Shoe.

Friends, readers, friendly or less-friend people of the Internet, please don’t tell me you don’t like these shoes.  I am too faint of heart to continue my search, and honestly? I really, really like these shoes.  They are a little bit oxford-esque, which I really like, and still feminine.  They have the teeniest, tiniest wedge (see picture here) and they’re way comfortable.  I am so happy.

So the plan is to wear these with my suit (which is dark brown and will be here in a few weeks/a month) and wear the Rocket Dogs with my dress.  Though I strongly suspect that I will end up barefoot, and I am quite happy with that.

What is your Detail Nemesis?  Or even your clothing nemesis?  Guys, I can do tanktops, I can do shorts, I can even do dresses, but if they’re not Chacos or Keens, shoes are not my friends.



Filed under Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

6 responses to “Detail Nemesis

  1. you’ve got a nose for fashion.

    i haven’t even started my great shoe hunt, but this post has got me off to a good start!

  2. Raffe

    Oh my gosh, you should see my girlfriend and I try to get dressed to go anywhere. IT IS AN ORDEAL.

    Our nemesis? Clothes + a couple comments from our ex-roommate that we look exactly alike (completely not true, we just both have short hair) + “Well, we can’t wear the same thing, but we both want to wear pants to the casual wedding we were invited to, but then what do I wear for a shirt if you’re wearing that?” = 1.5 hours later almost missing the ceremony.

    But I’m glad you found a good pair of shoes! Shoes are hard. I like them, but mostly on other people. Until very recently, I had (roughly): flip flops for summer, boots for winter, running shoes, bike shoes, and a pair of 99.9% worn out sneakers from indoor soccer from when I was in 4th grade. Also a pair of $12.95 heels from Payless from high school, for the one time per year I wear heels.

    • Ah I know what you mean! We were just talking about this on Sunday… you get dressed with your backs to each other and turn around and are like, “but… but… I’M wearing that!”

      Turtle and I – luckily – tend to coordinate rather than match. Heh, we were told by a drunk stranger on the bus recently that we must be sisters because we look so much alike. He said it was the haircut that did it… cause that’s genetic?

      • Raffe

        I find, generally, that all short-haired girls look the same! It’s remarkable! When I had buzzed my head, I looked *just* like Natalie Portman, apparently.

        We try to coordinate rather than match, but sometimes it is rather tricksy. This has led to some interesting discussions of stereotypes, and we’ve determined that us gays are “damned if you do, damned if you don’t:” you can both wear pants and then be That Lesbian Couple Who Both Dress Butch And Are Super Lesbians Who Probably Hate Men or one person can wear a skirt and then you are That Lesbian Couple Who Are Trying To Imitate Straight-Couple Gender Roles. Or, to mix things up, both could wear a skirt and then be That Lesbian Couple Who Both Dress Really Girly, So Who’s The Guy Are You Even Really Gay?
        Even though none of these things are remotely true, and there are so many nuances in between, we sometimes feel trapped and frustrated.

  3. YES. And I am noticing even more with all this wedding planning. Ms.Awesome (link on the right) had some interesting posts about what to wear and who makes that decision and what that means. Dress, suit, both? Clearly you’re trying to make a statement. Because we can’t just wear what we’re comfortable in…

    Though part of me sometimes thinks that much of this is my hypersensitivity… “Everyone thinks we’re butch!” or “everyone thinks I’m straight!” while Weddingbee readers insist that no one cares. I suspect it’s actually somewhere in between.

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