Full of Sass, or Finally Writing About Wedding Planning

Apparently, I am not talking enough about my wedding.

ugh, wedding planning. can't someone else be in charge of that?

“Blah blah blah, Bird, your relationship is good and nice job with all that work, but can we please talk about the important things?” you said, dear anonymous reader/commenter person. You said, “I want to hear about what really matters. Like the planning of your wedding.”

By which I assume, commenter of mine, you mean napkins.  You mean which chairs we picked and how we picked them, and what our invitations look like.

I have two important responses to this:

  1. This wedding is about a freakin’ relationship.  It’s not about the napkins! And I think that there are plenty of resources out there for people who want to talk about napkins and chairs, and I have little interest in being one of those resources.  I think that there could stand to be a lot more resources talking about our relationships and what is hard about them and how we get through that.  I think that there should be more emphasis on planning for the marriage, and more posts about how people wrote their vows.  We already get enough of “YOU NEED A DRESS FOR YOUR MOST IMPORTANT DAY (and it must make you flutter!).”  Give me some of the, “Here’s how we were realistic in the writing of our vows while maintaining hope and romance.” Give me some, “Here’s how to revel in this day that is one of your many important days, but for sure not the only one.”
  2. Um, the other reason you haven’t really been hearing so much about the planning of our actual wedding is day is because. Um.  We haven’t really been doing any.  Ooh look a pretty bird!

this here is the *actual* to-do list I wrote this weekend. very helpful.

So here’s what happened: we hit a point where it’s just about waiting.  We are waiting for and on a lot of things, like for my muslin suit to come in the mail and then for them to make the actual cloth version of it; for our invitations to be put together; for someone to make a decision about what favors we’re going to do, and then for someone to make those favors.

Okay, so a lot of what we’re waiting for would happen if we would stop waiting for it.

But there it is, folks – the reason you haven’t heard much about our wedding planning is because we’re just not doing it.  We are still settling into our new home, which is coming along nicely.  We are trying to be nice to each other.  We are trying to stay friends with our friends, and to make enough money to get by.  You know, we are living our life, and wedding planning is fun, and being prepared for our big wedding day is important, but it is not at the top of the list right now, and that is okay with me.

There are, though, some things you can look forward to hearing about soon:

  • Our invitations! They are in the process of happening. By which I mean that our designer/awesome friend Lisa is waiting (again, we’re in a waiting stage right now) to hear from us about what we want the invitation to say.  And we are waiting to be inspired? Sorry, Lisa.

    potential phrases for our invites... i like "our awesome life" in there somewhere.

  • My shoes! I found some! This post will not be exciting, but look! Wedding related!
  • Um… our chairs? No, just kidding. Not something I care about.
  • Favors! We’re waiting… to have time to make them?  Whatever they end up being, they are for sure something I am excited about, and something I hope our guests are excited about, too.
  • Possibly a bridal shower, but at the very least a picture of the pretty, pretty invitation I got for it.
  • Bridesmaids dresses. OMG you should be on the edge of your seat by the time you get to this point in the list.

MOH sisterface *loves* bridesmaid dresses! especially this one!

Oh, and here’s a question for you, reader who did not anonymously comment but might actually have nice things to say: Are you at all interested in reading about our budget?  Because I imagine that such a post will be agonizingly boring to write, but I always found it helpful and interesting to see other peoples’ budgets. Or will you just judge me? Yes, I am spening $500 on our venue.  It’s rough leading my life. Really.

if you need me, i'll be hiding under the covers. possibly reading about marriage. but definitely not about weddings.

Feeling a little sassy tonight? Why yes, thank you.  Please comment and tell me about your favorite part of wedding planning, and, if you’re feeling ambitious, tell me something you want to read about.



Filed under Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

7 responses to “Full of Sass, or Finally Writing About Wedding Planning

  1. After 10yrs, I am still working on my marriage and not on my wedding. I applaud your sassy self and rejoice knowing this wont be another marriage-less wedding. Keep rocking it sweet potato! xxoo

  2. That bridesmaid dress is so cute! I wish we could have gone with short dresses but my sister was afraid of being cold.

    We stalled for MONTHS on the invitations. We finally got them done, but the wording took awhile. We went with:
    Together with Our Parents
    [name] and [name]

    Invite you to share our joy
    celebrate our love
    And support our commitment
    As we exchange wedding vows

    Sunday the Xth of October, Two Thousand and Ten
    Half past three in the afternoon

    Under the trees at Irvine Nature Center
    Dinner and dancing to follow.

    I do not recommend stalling. The inspiration does not get better if you wait a month, and what we decided was that anything really important we wanted to say to our guests, we could put in the program.

    So far, my favorite part of wedding planning has been:
    1. Discovering that we have surprisingly similar tastes
    2. Affirming that we have the same values about money/spending time with our friends/being eco-friendly.
    3. The blog (I get to write again about something that is not the rule against perpetuities.)
    4. Our invitations.

  3. Hmmm… the comment that began this post makes me feel all weird…

    To be honest, I’m over looking at all the pretty stuff. I see it, I like it, I hate it and I move on.

    What I DO like to read about is the journey full of struggles that eventually leads to a couple’s triumph and the hard stuff that makes our relationships worth our weddings and our marriages and our entire lives. And yes, I want to see your shoes and the muslin and I think the blue dress on your MOH is flippin’ cute as hell… but there’s so much more than what kind of chair you choose for your ceremony. (But you totally know all of this.)

    And we got to a comfy place that lasted three weeks without doing anything wedding-y because we were, like you and Turtle, waiting. Waiting for emails or calls back or appointments. Oh, and we also plain just didn’t want to plan. It was wedding overload in our home and we needed to separate ourselves from the cray-cray.

    Plus, it’s kind of crummy for someone to tell you what to write about.

  4. pamela

    yay for relationship-y stuff! now pick a darn SONG already!! ahem, thank you.

  5. Favorite part of wedding planning? Two words: Cake Tasting

  6. As beautiful as your wedding invitations will be and as fantastic as everyone thinks your centerpieces are, twenty-five years from now the two of you will still have your relationship and no one will remember what font you use or whether you go for the carnations instead of the calla lilies.

    And as a newbie on the wedding planning scene, I would LOVE to read all about your budget.

  7. Personally, reading about wedding stuff is cool but you are right in that there should be lots more resources related to our relationships! I don’t read your blog for the wedding planning info, that is just a bonus.


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