I think that a lot of people have the weddings they are “supposed” to have. They invite people they “have” to invite and wear what they “should” wear.
This is not something that I am entirely innocent of doing. I bought a dress even though I knew early one I wanted to wear pants and a vest… but I bought a dress that I liked, and I’m not giving up the suit – I’m changing after the ceremony. Who wants to contradance in a floofy dress anyway? Okay, some people do, but they are not me.
In the wedding blogosphere, I make a point to read blogs that support independence, and offer ideas and solutions. Where whatever you want! Feed lunch, breakfast, appetizers, nothing! Cook everything yourself! Wear anything but white! Spend all the money that feels right to you, and be true to yourself.
So I’m channeling this authenticity as much as I can, and I feel like, on the whole, I’m being pretty true to myself, and we, as a couple, are being true to ourselves. But there are a couple of sort of “traditional” things that I am bumping into.
First: shoes. Shoes are the smaller issue. I know I can wear whatever I want – but I also want to be taken seriously! I want to look nice, and not for my shoes to jump out like a sore thumb. I want them to jump out like an interesting thumb. Turtle will be wearing a dress the whole time, and is on the prowl for some nice cowboy boots. Totally hot. I love this look, I think she’ll be adorable, and look nice and interesting at the same time.
I, on the other hand, am more difficult. I can’t wear boots because one of my calves (um, yes, just one, thank you) is too muscular for any boots to fit over. I hate heels, and I know I won’t be comfortable in them, so scrap that. I found some sandals that I love, but I know they’ll come flying off if I try to dance in them. Nothing seems to be just right!
And then I found Chacos.
I love Chacos. My roommate and I used to do a happy song/dance every spring when we declared it “Chaco season.” They look half-decent with a dress (in my dykey opinion) and good with anything else. They are easy on and off, they dry fast, they stay put, and you can even go hiking in them. But are they wedding shoes? Are they really what I want?
Under a dress, no one will see them, or any other shoes I wear. With my suit, they’ll be obvious, but I’m not sure there’s anything wrong with that. I think I need someone to tell me that either they are completely awesome and they love that idea or tell me why I’m being ridiculous so that I can either argue with them, thus realizing I really want these shoes, or agree with them and move on. Will I be an amazing Chaco bride? Or someone who doesn’t know how to dress herself?
The other bump I hit is bridesmaids. And that is a post for another day. So please tell me about shoes. What are you wearing, and why? I don’t think I even own dress shoes – again, I don’t do heels, and the closest I’ve gotten is Danskos. What do you wear for fancy things? Thanks, guys.