… and I’ll cry if I want to

I think that a lot of people have the weddings they are “supposed” to have.  They invite people they “have” to invite and wear what they “should” wear.

This is not something that I am entirely innocent of doing.  I bought a dress even though I knew early one I wanted to wear pants and a vest… but I bought a dress that I liked, and I’m not giving up the suit – I’m changing after the ceremony.  Who wants to contradance in a floofy dress anyway?  Okay, some people do, but they are not me.

In the wedding blogosphere, I make a point to read blogs that support independence, and offer ideas and solutions.  Where whatever you want!  Feed lunch, breakfast, appetizers, nothing! Cook everything yourself! Wear anything but white!  Spend all the money that feels right to you, and be true to yourself.

So I’m channeling this authenticity as much as I can, and I feel like, on the whole, I’m being pretty true to myself, and we, as a couple, are being true to ourselves. But there are a couple of sort of “traditional” things that I am bumping into.

First: shoes.  Shoes are the smaller issue.  I know I can wear whatever I want – but I also want to be taken seriously! I want to look nice, and not for my shoes to jump out like a sore thumb.  I want them to jump out like an interesting thumb.  Turtle will be wearing a dress the whole time, and is on the prowl for some nice cowboy boots.  Totally hot.  I love this look, I think she’ll be adorable, and look nice and interesting at the same time.

pretty bride in cowboy boots - fun!

I, on the other hand, am more difficult.  I can’t wear boots because one of my calves (um, yes, just one, thank you) is too muscular for any boots to fit over.  I hate heels, and I know I won’t be comfortable in them, so scrap that.  I found some sandals that I love, but I know they’ll come flying off if I try to dance in them.  Nothing seems to be just right!

And then I found Chacos.

I love Chacos.  My roommate and I used to do a happy song/dance every spring when we declared it “Chaco season.”  They look half-decent with a dress (in my dykey opinion) and good with anything else.  They are easy on and off, they dry fast, they stay put, and you can even go hiking in them.  But are they wedding shoes?  Are they really what I want?

Under a dress, no one will see them, or any other shoes I wear.  With my suit, they’ll be obvious, but I’m not sure there’s anything wrong with that.  I think I need someone to tell me that either they are completely awesome and they love that idea or tell me why I’m being ridiculous so that I can either argue with them, thus realizing I really want these shoes, or agree with them and move on.  Will I be an amazing Chaco bride? Or someone who doesn’t know how to dress herself?

The other bump I hit is bridesmaids.  And that is a post for another day.  So please tell me about shoes.  What are you wearing, and why?  I don’t think I even own dress shoes – again, I don’t do heels, and the closest I’ve gotten is Danskos.  What do you wear for fancy things?  Thanks, guys.

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6 Comments

Filed under Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

6 responses to “… and I’ll cry if I want to

  1. Melissa

    Flip-flops rock

  2. Anne

    In the summer I live in a pair of Merrell Aster sandals. Skinny straps make them ok to wear with dress clothes, and I can still ride my bike in them. I have a black pair, but they’re in a bunch of different colors that may go nicely with your suit, and are probably able to be danced in too.

    Good luck!

  3. cmc

    I wore converse to prom and recently day dream of getting married in my really old, really comfy hiking boots on a mountain somewhere… (okay, I know which mountain).

    I say wear your fuckin’ chacos, yo. Live it, love it, gotta be happy and comfortable and YOU on your wedding day. Also if you wear some you already have then you have another hundred bucks to spend on something that means a lot 🙂

  4. sisterface

    I think I am not a fan of the Chacos. Perhaps they are honeymoon shoes rather than wedding shoes. You should put them on your registry. You definitely need some nice sandals for your honeymoon!

  5. Sue B

    Who says you have to wear shoes at all? Go barefoot. Comfy, paint your toes, and people will think you’re cool!

  6. I wore 3 inch t-strap sandals and my wife wore flip flops. It was basically because we have a big height difference and she liked flip flops.

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