Me: Do you want to scrap everything and get married next week?
Turtle: No. Do you want to scrap everything and get married next week?
Me: No. Just checking.
Okay, so the title of this post was totally an April Fool’s joke. April Fools!
Now that it’s officially April, it’s officially the month of our two year anniversary, and that is really cool. It’s been two years – two years! – and we totally still like each other. This whole getting married thing, when it’s not stressful (which is only a very little bit of the time), is really fun! We like it.
But sometimes it just seems like too much. Yesterday, Meg from A Practical Wedding wrote this totally awesome post about money. And I knew a lot of this stuff already, this is how I was already thinking – or that’s what I had thought until I was struck by this:
Don’t be afraid to say no. If you don’t care? Don’t buy it. If someone is making you sign a contract that doesn’t feel right? Don’t sign it. If it doesn’t feel right? Put away your wallet. If you do this, things will somehow fall into place.
I read this and I realized that I don’t want to spend three thousand dollars on food. I just don’t. I have eaten food at weddings, and it has been good, but I have not walked away thinking that it was the best food that I had eaten in awhile (with the exception of one wedding, and at that wedding they made the food themselves!). And if I am going to spend that much money on food, it should be damn good food.
So I came up with a plan. We will have pies, provided by friends and family, and we will have mimosas. We will have coffee and tea from Tealuxe or somewhere delicious, and that will be it. And some people will say “Just pie?” and other people will say, “JUST PIE!” and that will be fine. Sara from 2000 Dollar Budget Wedding posted something that I love, and this part is sticking in my head:
It did not matter whether every last detail conformed to the signature colors. Instead of saying, “What a beautiful bouquet,” the guests said, “What a beautiful love.”
So there. Pie it is.
The minor complication (ha!) comes in when we consider that this is not about me planning my wedding – this is about us planning our wedding. And it turns out that Turtle, as an event planner in her former life, wants to feel taken care of on our wedding day instead of worrying about what might not be going right. And it turns out that I don’t feel safe renting an urn for our tea water and not being assured that our water won’t taste like coffee. And who’s going to set up? Clean up? Where to we get utensils? (I know there are answers to these questions… they just feel overwhelming.)
And I think this comes back to the rule of: Forget DIY. It doesn’t all have to be DIY. And I feel really confident that we are considering taking things into our own hands, and we are considering different ways of doing things, and we are really trying to work out the options. And it’s going to be hard, I think, for me to say we’re spending $3,000 on food. But it’s easier when I remind myself that we are getting a planner in there, and people who will help us set up and clean up and decorate, and they are people we like.
So more points for the process. And we’re still planning to have pies. It’ll just be post-brunch pies. Because that’s how we’re doing it. So there.