The engagement ring adventure was a big one, and a mostly fun one. At times it was stressful, as we emailed each other pictures back and forth and debated how much money to spend and whether to buy online or in person. At one point we just said, “Okay, no more talking about rings until we are holding them in our hands,” and that was the point at which we decided to only go shopping in person, which ended up being a really good decision for us.
The search for wedding rings feels similarly stressful, but somehow more difficult.
What is difficult, I think, is trying to figure out what is important in the wedding rings. I know that, because I plan to be working with a lot of different animals in my life, I want something that can withstand getting banged around and won’t get pieces of poop wedged in little corners of it. Sorry if that’s gross, but these are the hazards of the industry, people. I suspect that I will not wear my engagement ring all the time once we’re married, or at least not on the same hand as my wedding ring, so it’s not important to me that the band match my engagement ring.
But beyond these little things, which rule out a lot of rings, I don’t know what I do want. With our engagement rings, it seemed most important that I like mine and Turtle liked hers, and it didn’t matter whether they looked good together or to the other one of us. With our wedding rings, it feels important that they match, in some way. They are a symbol of our union, of our unity, and this is why it feels important that they resemble each other, or are made from the same metal, or at the very least have the same thing engraved within them. I want, when people see us together, for people to see our rings and know that we are married to each other.
Today we went to an antique store that I happened across a couple of weeks ago to look at some options. I was surprised to find myself drawn to yellow and rose gold, and I was not surprised to see Turtle drawn to the white gold and platinum. For me: simple bands with a little bit of detail or character, like little ridges you don’t notice at first or milgrain on the edges. For her: diamonds all the way around. Very different.
And THEN she found a ring for me that is just gorgeous. Again, it made my heart flutter a little. I didn’t have a camera and can’t find a picture of it anywhere, but it is a delicate vine with leaves wrapped around and around, and made out of teeny tiny diamonds and white gold. This is so not a good explanation of the ring. It is beautiful, and simple while intricate, and delicate while sturdy, and costs a little more than 5 times as much as I originally wanted to spend. And it will definitely not match Turtle’s ring, whatever she finds.
If you are married, what is your ring situation? Do you have an engagement ring AND a wedding band, and how did you agree on/pick your band(s)? Do they match? And whether or not you’re married, what are your thoughts/understandings of what a wedding ring “should be”? I don’t know that I care what one “should do,” but I am curious about the thoughts around these rings, as opposed to engagement rings, and where my attitudes are coming from. Give me your insight, dear readers, and tell me whether I should spend way more than I really want to on a ring that makes me flutter.