Day 4 of being all alone, or I don’t know how to act like a real person

I’ve been living alone, so alone (read that last part in a dramatic voice and fling your hands into the air) for 4 days! FOUR days!

What this means:

Day 1, the house was really clean.  I wiped counters, I swept floors, and I even cleaned the toilet.  I let the dog sleep with me and I ate real food.

Day 2, I took the dog for multiple walks and continued to behave like a responsible adult.

Day 3, I bathed the dog, visited a friend, went to work.

Day 4, this morning, I realized that since Day 1 I have not cleaned a thing!  There are piles everywhere!  There is mess everywhere!  To be completely honest and to overshare a bit, there is even cat poop on the floor in the study.  How do I live like this?

So I wake up, panic mildly at the chaos, and then realize that I have almost four full days until another human being is going to see it.  I can totally start acting like a normal and clean human being over the course of four days, I swear.

And for your entertainment, an example of the kinds of conversations that happen when no other human beings are around:

Me: You smell like butt, Daphne.
Daphne: *Stares at me.*
Me: Smelly butt.

sometimes you run out of things to eat... but there are always kittens for that.


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