After which I slammed down the phone

Me: Good afternoon!  I’m just calling because I have all of my domestic partnership forms filled out, and I want to see if I can fax them in now or if I have to start the health insurance process online first.

Support office: Hello.  Was there a loss of coverage?

M: Well, yes, but there was also a change in family status, since I just attained a domestic partner.

S: (judgmental) Have you been together a year?

M: Yes (what does that matter?).

S: Well, she needs to have lost her coverage. When was her last day of coverage?

M: February 28th, but we also changed family status.

S: Since her coverage ended before March first, we have to start coverage on the first.

M: Yes, but family status changed.

S: No, it’s under loss of coverage.

M: Why could I have added her when I first signed up but not now?

S: That was open enrollment.

M: It said I could add someone when I change family status.  If I got married to someone in two weeks, could I add my spouse then?

S: Yes.

M: Well, domestic partnership is the same as marriage (sidenote: not true. i was just mad at this point, and for my purposes in this conversation, it was true. More thoughts on this later)!

S: Fine, we can try it, but they probably won’t let it go through.

WTF?? The whole reason we did this DP thing was to get Turtle on my (very expensive) insurance.  We do have the stupid loss of coverage thing at home, so we will get her on it, and that’s fine, but my issue is the total devaluing of my legal (in some senses) relationship.  What if I was from another state where we could *not* get married, and all I have is domestic partnership?  That just gets tossed out the window?  This is such crap.

After I slammed the phone down, I went to vent to my supervisor – not in a “Hey supervisor, advise me professionally” way, but in a “Hey, this was really hard on me and I’m almost in tears, be supportive” way.  And all she said was, “Well, they’re different in the eyes of the law, and the rules are the rules,” and then she shrugged.  She shrugged!  Because who cares if people are treated equally.


1 Comment

Filed under gay, Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

One response to “After which I slammed down the phone

  1. Sticky

    So here’s the deal. It depends on the plan, and the person does seem pretty judgmental. My understanding of the benefits I handle for my company (Blue Cross MA) is that a change in status and open enrollment are the only two times to change your plan. In fact, I believe our insurance does allow partnerships (with proper paperwork, just like marriages require licenses).

    I’d call your insurance directly and find out the scoop. Who knows if this person really knew what they were talking about… it seems like they don’t.

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