… someone who knows how to get dressed.
Dear small but loyal readership,
As usual, I need your advice. I don’t know what to wear.
This is a problem that has long plagued me. I am known in certain circles for walking around in knee socks, slippers, underwear, and a sweatshirt, because I can’t figure out what pants to wear and clothes are overwhelming. I may have even videochatted with my former roommate to show her the awesomeness of this outfit. Okay, I was only wearing one sock. Even two socks was overwhelming.
So you can imagine what it’s like to try to figure out what to wear for my stupid wedding. Which isn’t stupid at all, except for the part where I have to wear nice clothes for it.
Outfit number one: the dress for the ceremony. I already have the dress. It is very pretty, and very me, and I am not going to show it to you until after I get married, so there. I just need shoes, and that’s a whole different issue.
Outfit number two: the suit for the reception. See previous post on women in pants and a vest. Totally hot and snappy.
So Turtle and I went to Men’s Wearhouse to see what they had. Per a post I read on dressing your lesbian wedding party, the first question I asked was, “Have you ever fitted a woman for a suit?” The very small, very masculine 18 year old kid who worked there said that no, he hadn’t, but there’s always a first! He was incredibly awkward. Asked what I wanted a suit for, and I said my wedding. Awkard congratulations. Turtle pipes up, “To me! We’re getting married!” I’m not sure this affected the level of awkwardness – he was pretty much as uncomfortable as we could make him already.
So he starts to go to one part of the store and then is like, “Did you want to buy a suit?” When I said maybe, he starts to go to another part. When I make it clear I don’t want a jacket, he turns and starts walking somewhere else. He is clearly flustered. Then his boss steps in, this big guy who is less awkward but also clearly feels a little strange about the whole situation. Between the two of them they get me some pants and a vest and an enormous men’s button down shirt. I try it on (no pictures, I forgot, sorry!) and I look pretty good.
Well, as long as you imagine that everything fits.
So the whole deal – vest and pants – would cost about $110, and then need alterations. Some of the alterations just couldnt’ be done, because my frame is so different than a man’s (as the Men’s Wearhouse guy said, “You have some things we don’t, and we have some things you don’t.” Uh, thanks guy at Men’s Wearhouse for that nugget of wisdom). So it would look pretty nice and be pretty comfortable, but not be perfect.
The other option is to get an entire suit (well, vest and pants) custom made. I found someone on Etsy who has really nice looking stuff and got good reviews, but they do the entire process through the mail. For the whole thing in the fabric I want (pretty! Dark brown! Made for my frame!) it would cost about $260. You can check out their shop here, and see the reviews of their work here.
So, tell me what to do, oh faithful readership! Do I spend $110 plus alterations on something that doesn’t fit quite right but is pretty nice (dark gray with little stripes) from awkward people who don’t know how to deal with lesbians, but try? Or do I buy something for $260 that is custom made from friendly internet people who I will never actually meet?
Or do I show up to my reception in one sock and some underwear? I have to say, friends, it’s a pretty good look for me.