So Which One of You is Wearing the Dress? Part I

I have to admit that until our cable company figured out we were getting lots of free channels and took them away, I almost religiously watched “Say Yes to the Dress.”

Click on image for source.

I think it was part morbid curiosity (“My dress cannot cost less than $10,000, and I’d like to stay under $15,000, but sure, I’ll try on that $17,000 dress.”), but also part “wedding dresses are pretty and I want to look at them!”  I was pretty consistently horrified by the people featured on the show with giant budgets and horrible dresses, and an attitude of “this is MY day, and I’m the princess, and thank god he finally proposed” – especially when the “he finally proposed” was the only mention of the partnership they were entering into.  There were some people featured that I did enjoy watching, including women who were clearly in love with their fiances, families supporting each other, and people who found what they were looking for, even if it made their consultants wince. Or maybe especially if it made their consultants wince.

I, however, did not want a wedding dress.

I have worn dresses before. I even think I look pretty in dresses!  I’ve dated women before who said they felt unnatural in a dress, and I certainly don’t feel that way.  But once I started looking at different lesbian weddings, I realized that I really love the look of one woman in a suit.  Even better, in a vest, just a vest. Well, with pants, too, and a shirt. But no jacket.  I LOVE it.  Here are some of my favorite non-dress lesbian wedding pictures (mostly found on So You’re EnGAYged, click on pictures for source):

Photo by FS Photography

Photo by Whitney Lee Photography

Photo by Jen Cleary Photography

Photo by Kelly Prizel Photography

Photo by Erin Chapman Photography

Okay, that last one doesn’t have a vest, but I just LOVE Kelsey’s overalls and the color, so I thought it needed a place here somewhere.

So I spent the first month or so explaining to people that I was going to wear pants and a vest and have pretty flowers and makeup and I was really excited about that. And I was really excited about that.

I was also really excited when we went with Fancee to look at dresses, and when we found one, and when we bought it.  And then I got bit by the dress bug.

I wanted to try on dresses.

I wanted a consultant to bring me things, and to parade around in them and make faces – good or bad – and imagine what I would look like all prettified. I wanted to be the center of attention in some salon! I have no idea where this came from – it still sounds silly to me. Regardless, off we went for me to try on dresses, Fancee and my mother in tow, thinking we were just there to try things on and I wouldn’t like anything.

Oops, I liked this dress. (Personal Photo)

This did not go as planned. More details to come in Part II!

Did you end up wearing what you thought you would wear? What are your thoughts on wearing more than one thing? Did you let other peoples’ ideas of what you “should” wear change your mind?



Filed under gay, Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

2 responses to “So Which One of You is Wearing the Dress? Part I

  1. Ellie Leonardsmith

    I went dress shopping, first in Boston, because I wanted to go to the fancy places that had the absurdly expensive dresses I knew I could never have. I wanted to defy them by pretending I could afford them, and because I wanted to try them on and be secretly wishing they would ask me about me about my fiancee.

    Like you said, the ‘being attended to’ and trying on fabric WORKS of ART was awesome. Side effect? I temporarily thought I could afford a $7,000 dress. When Kels came and saw me in the one I really wanted, she almost cried, and we temporarily talked about selling her car in order to afford it. We were CRAZY. But just for the afternoon. Then we realized this fancy, sparkly, glammy dress was TOTALLY different from how we wanted our wedding to be. Whew…

    At the place I did end up buying my dress (a boutique with discontinued or rack dresses a bunch of other people had tried on), I asked the woman doing my fitting if my partner could come to the fitting, and she double checked that she was a woman, because if my fiancee was a man, it might make the other women in the store uncomfortable! what?! But, this did end up being the place I bought my dress… after wading through sparkles and big pouffiness and bodices that hid my real shape (the woman in this shop had a different idea of what made me beautiful)… I found a simple, silk, off-white halter top dress that made my friend say “Wow” and made me blush when I looked at myself. One of my favorite things about it was that I could wear it one way for the ceremony (more classy and demure) and another way for the reception (more summer dress-y).

    Whew… yeah. damn. dresses…

  2. Pingback: So Which One of You Is Wearing the Dress, Part II « Roughing It

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