A few weeks ago, the affianced, my mother, and I went to David’s bridal so I could try on some dresses. The experience is a story for another post, but what I will say is that both time we went – for her and for me – we crossed off “Groom” on the registration form and wrote in “Bride” or “Bride 2” or something like that. Then we wrote both of our names, which I think are clearly female names, in the lines.
Since giving out my contact information to David’s Bridal, I have received at least one email every day with some terribly exciting offer. Dress all your maids (apparently I need maids)! Get the tux for the groom (and a groom?)! Mostly they are impersonal mass emails and I don’t think much about it before deleting them. Last night, however, I got this email:
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
My name is Maria Baumeister and I am a Health & Wellness Coach with Take Shape For Life. As you have recently registered with David’s Bridal, you now have access to a variety of services and vendors. Take Shape For Life and David’s Bridal Shops have recently joined together in an effort to help make your day even more special for you and all those involved.
There are many people who want to look their best for their wedding. Not only the bride and the groom [emphasis mine], but wedding parties and parents as well. Many people have expressed an interest in losing some weight “for the wedding”. That is where Take Shape For Life comes in.””
Blah blah blah. The email continued, but I was stuck on “not only the bride and groom.” What about “not only brides and grooms” or “not only the two people getting married”?! So here’s what I wrote back:
“Hi Robin –
I wanted to ask to be removed from the mailing list, but I also wanted to point out that there is no groom in my wedding, as clearly indicated on my registration form. We are two women getting married to each other, and receive enough heteronormative messages in magazines and other advertisements – it’s frustrating to receive even more in my personal email. Next time, please check before mentioning “brides and grooms”. Please remove me from your list.
I was frustrated and angry, and just pulled this out without too much thought. I think usually that I put a lot of time into sending an email like this, crafting the right response and making sure it will read *just right* – but this I just typed and sent. And look at the great response I got!
Please except my sincere apologies – it was not meant to offend you in any way. I do appreciate your e-mail because to be honest, I had not even thought of this before! We are such a traditional country and traditional people, that we often forget about things that happen outside of the box, so to speak.
I have several clients who are in same-gender relationships so it was not a personal slight at all!
Again, please accept my apologies and I will make sure you are removed from the list.”
I feel much better. Would you have responded to an email like this?